Just a bit twisted (November 25, 2022)

Sunshine on a rainy day.

The way his smile curls when he can’t look away.

Cold day’s in June, so we can pound the pavement.

Waking up early to cook them breakfast after another long day.

Giving time to those who need it, when I don’t think I can stand myself.

Laughing during a conversation with a good friend.

Singing in public around strangers and hearing why they are there. The story touches your heart as I sing Hallelujah from the top of my lungs because it’s the only thing that helps the anxiety of being in public around strangers. Healing on both ends of the pier that day. Giving my kids an experience I can’t recall after 6. Choosing them has helped me find myself again. They bring me joy even when we are apart; knowing they are doing their part to enjoy the little things.

Shooting stars on my birthday.

Making my husband laugh with my silly questions.

The smell of rain.

A big hug from someone who understands the hurt that won’t go away.

Reminding a friend how important they really are.

Shaved legs and clean sheets in July.

Sometimes I close my eyes and look back on brighter days. Days when I don’t think I can take it anymore, so I can look back and thank my ancestors for the strength to heal wounds I ignored before just to fit in. Instead I am choosing to reach back to the day’s that saved me, more than crumbled me to the floor. See people that reached out when I went too quiet and thank them in my own way. Relive situations I found myself in because I just didn’t know how to ask for help and never let someone else feel the way I did. The days we all wish we could erase. Why can’t you just skip me this time? I would beg. Give me something else to look forward to than another round of disappointment? Depression you will never be the death of me.

written by Just Rant Already

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