I am so excited to announce, I have friends. Well in the way we make friend easiest these days, on the internet. Being autistic and knowing the struggles that others face are in the same general outcasted direction I tend to stand willingly, is pretty amazing. If you’re reading this, the blogs going well. I want to turn all my poems into TT videos, but we will see how well the first few go. I have to admit, I don’t know how I am going to do being “well known.” It guess its the touch of the ’tism that got me scared of my own shadow. Fuck this Imposter syndrome.

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I am trying my best not to lose my shit. This judicial system got me restless and overwhelmed. I can show my work but I can’t make them see. The trauma I had is repeating by no hand of my own. That stress is the small dull pain from the wound in my back. No contact is only hard when the feelings are still attached. I must do all I can to remind myself I am more than just an excuse for your absence.

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Put that aside ’cause I will forever prioritize my children. There needs, wants, aspirations to thrive. Small town life isn’t for everyone and experiences come slower than others. I’m a “big girl,” not just comically but literally. Six foot is intimidating when the mom voice takes over. Don’t spout your ignorant verbiage because you aren’t as articulate. I don’t make you feel dumb, your level of vocabulary does. The key word is always “Yours.”

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Looking forward to next month and starting the first few practice runs on the podcast, my best friends going to be there to help me not feel alone. She’s heard my stories and always says “that one never gets old.” All the emotions you’ll feel from tears to laughs. Some heartache is easier to add humor, others a bit raw. Trying to keep these mini story times down to 15 minutes max. Y’all who know me, or have read this far, should know by now I can just keep on if you give me the space to do it. No expectations to be anything but myself is what I crave. See, right back to where I started.

Anyways,

Just Rant Already

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In all seriousness — I have done it again. Taken what I know and turned it into a shit show. This book review blog, turned poetry blog is getting a formatting makeover. I will be enjoying the freedom to write the way I would be reading it aloud. I am tired of being haunted by the punctuation and my coding brain feels better with it this way.

On to the next one …