Today could never show you the truth in my thoughts
Working harder and harder to find peace
Between my ears that is
Major Depressive Disorder is a mouthful
Too many things that keep me in bed
No point in starting something I can’t finish
I heard it once, so I stuck with it
My reserve are preserved for the kids
Their needs have always come before my own
I wasn’t always nice about it, who would be?
Trying hard to do better than my predecessors.
I have always worked hard to spot the silver lining,
when spreading joy feels so good.
Take a walk,
I must watch my feet or I will end up on the ground.
Push and pull,
only 30 minutes or you won’t move your arms tomorrow.
Sing into the microphone –
Bounce my foot.
Sitting might be hard for physical reasons –
Spreading Joy makes it worth it.
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
Mantra after mantra I see my worth.
Bringing together the things I love the most.
Blogging about my life helps,
less about my past to focus on my future.
Not gonna lie – this is hard for me.
Ask anyone and they will tell you I am a run on sentence.
Giving detail and context as I recall it all, physically hurts.
My brain takes my whole person back to that experience.
To avoid spaces and faces that would cause such pain –
I miss out on life and those that remain.
I wish them well on whatever path they choose.
I am learning that life takes us to crazy places –
Where growth is needed to move on.
Anytime I start to sense negativity –
I stop, pause and look back on what has transpired around me.
The curse of my autism has always been not checking in.
Doing for others what they ask of me is hard without context.
Social cues and situations will always be my downfall.
Pushing and pulling my way through life’s French doors.
I love to sing but hate to perform so handle me with care.
I am raw emotionally filled bottle of lightning.
Just Rant Already 
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